I've been wrestling with some thought-demons this week regarding grad school...trying to weigh how much damage going somewhere far far away would do to me financially versus how much damage staying in Provo would do to me emotionally. During trying times of such heavy decisions, it's good to counsel with friends. This is me counseling with J. R Jarstad when he waxed SUPER wise and poetic:
Robby Jarstad: I think I may have started to become provo as much as hate it.
Raquelita: what is provo, anyway?
Robby Jarstad: I don't know it's the opposite of sehnsucht I think
Robby Jarstad: It's an answer every question before it's asked.
Robby Jarstad: It's a song that is sung by a 20 year old attractive female american idol winner but written by a crusty 50 year old chain-smoker and formulated to move units.
Raquelita: i have to write these down
Raquelita: what else?
Robby Jarstad: It's believing radical change can come from the electoral college.
Robby Jarstad: It's like kissing a sibling.
Robby Jarstad: It's like planning to be spontaneous.
Robby Jarstad: It's like pretending that a bologna sandwich is your favorite food?
Raquelita: can we make this into, like, a pamphlet and distribute it on campus?
Raquelita: or a children's book? haha
Robby Jarstad: Haha a children's book!
Raquelita: like an educational children's book, ha
Robby Jarstad: Yeah. The kid is like, when I grow up I want to go to BYU and then the mom's like I don't know honey...
Robby Jarstad: And the kid's like why what is provo like?
Robby Jarstad says: And then the book starts.
Raquelita: you are too clever
Robby Jarstad: nosotros
Robby Jarstad: Dude I'm gonna be walking to the orphanage every day trying to think of what else provo is.
Robby Jarstad: Provo is that super european dude with too much cologne and that slightly skanky euro chick that's into that.
Robby Jarstad: It's like your dad letting you win at ping pong...
Robby Jarstad: And you not knowing till his funeral.
Robby Jarstad says: I AM these things.
Raquelita says: how?
Robby Jarstad: I don't know it just started sinking into me over time.
Robby Jarstad: When I was offended by my own friends on tour I think I realized it.
Raquelita: oh, really? i think i'm a lot more provo too, when i'm out of it
Robby Jarstad: I guess that's not really evidence because Jesus is probably a little provo too.
After this scintillating conversation, and upon further reflection, Robby wrote this chilling metaphor on the Facebook wall of our mutual friend bleedingern567. Every time I read it I cannot stop laughing. There is so much I could say to explain why this clicks with me, but I know at least a few of you who read this will understand without me having to say anything at all. This is for you!:
"Once I had a unicorn, but one day a masked man hunted and murdered every last one, including my own. "That unicorn was my hopes and my dreams," I cried, "The one creature who understood and brought light to my bitter and sorry existence. Who would ever do such a thing, Who are you?!"
To which despair, this unfaced murderer replied, "I am Provo.""
We have no established traditions for the 4th, so we wing it every year.
This year, we went to Lost Creek with Jana and kids and then had some
friends over...
1 week ago
9 comments:
I'm totally for that children's book. I'll invest in it.
Um.. thats Brown. Not Browjn. Although the latter is a cooler last name.
haha thats awesome.
This is ironic, to me, because for so long my unicorn has been Provo itself. I've never felt like I belong here in Ogden. I've discovered, accepted, and cried over my inferiority to Ayden Richards & co. To deal with that, I really needed a dream to hold onto, and since I planned on going to BYU, I latched onto that- to the day I'd get to leave Ogden, start over, and maybe feel accepted somewhere. I know Provo isn't perfect, but it has always been, to me, the light at the end of this tunnel.
That's sad.
I thought Provo was just a stepping stone.
I never knew people tried to live on a stepping stone. I never thought of it as a possibility. It's a novel concept, I must admit.
But the concept was... not for me.
Wow, I'm not sure entirely what to say to that. I definitely know you know my feelings about Provo more recently. Such a majestic and wonderful thing for the first while. But if you get sucked into the abyss for too long (especially as an unmarried undergrad) then things can just become such a train wreck. Seriously, it's not a matter of me being unhappy that I'm still single, it's more of a matter that you just can't fully fit in after a certain point in Provo if you are an "old" unmarried person. I guess that's the sign of "it's time to move on." But hey, don't let that discourage you from gradschool here in the Provo area. I've heard pretty good things from a lot of people that have gone to school around here.
So basically what you're saying Diana, is that your unicorn KILLED my unicorn... ouch.
You and my dad have a lot in common.
Hey Rache, I just got this link from your mom (yay!)
I knew you were thinking about grad school and agree those are hard options to weigh.
(Guess I'll check your more recent posts and see if you've come to any conclusions.)
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