So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten

I'm realizing how darkly I was seeing through the glass this last year. Now my eyes are adjusting to more light. I needed this so badly, just to be ripped out of my world and shaken down to a humbler place. I love the roughness and broken-downness and the colors of Mexico. There is so much treasure here for me.

Yesterday I directed the group therapy session by myself! The kids and I drew pictures of family traditions and then talked about what they all had in common. I also introduced the photography project we will be working on in the next few months. It went really well and the kids are sweet and patient with me when I need to reword things..a lot of this is new vocabulary for me and even though I struggle sometimes I love learning!

Today I went to the Centro Juconi to help with the sports day they have every Friday for the kids. Most of the families TRACA works with live in Santana or other pueblecitos outside the main city--the poorest families here tend to live on the outskirts of the Capital instead of the inner-city (which is pretty upper/middle class). Those pueblitcitos are desperately poor--most of the houses have one room with several beds on one end and the kitchen area on the other. All possessions are cluttered together and many of them don't have running water of electricity in the house. They are places you can feel are a little bit sketch just by the way people look at you, hard and hungry and mean. Because these neighborhoods are often dangerous (there are significant problems with drugs and gang activity), many families try to keep their kids inside, so JUCONI faciliates this day when they can come and get some excersise and positive social interaction. I had so much fun talking to the mothers and running around playing with the children. One of the mothers had a wonderfully chubby 10 month old baby who kept stretching out his arms to me and leaving sweet sticky kisses on my cheeks when I held him. I really do think Mexican children are the most darling. Gibran would say that there's a solution for that. :)

After work I went with Manuel to a friend's despedida de la mision (mission farewell) which was in a huge park and we got some love from the members and some carne asada. We also had a pull-up contest on the bars of the playground and I totally beat him, much to the delight of several 10 year olds who were watching. :)

Afterwards, he wanted to take me back to his house and teach me to salsa dance. (Now that I think about it, this may have been a machista attempt at revenge after the pull-ups contest.) Naturally I was horrified, I told him about my genetic uncoordination which has been the bane of my existence, but he didn't believe me...they never do until after. My protestations were in vain and we spent about an hour and a half "dancing." I have to admit it was pretty fun, not that I really progressed. Of course he is an amazing dancer and an enthusastic teacher, but I really am impossible. When we were downing some jugo de guyaba after I told him I that I had always felt humilated because I couldn't t dance and he said, "But it's possible for us to learn anything! Even if we don't have any natural ability for something, that doesn't mean we can't work hard and get better at it. We're part of God, we can do anything if we are willing to work." I loved that--not necessarily as it relates to dancing, but insasmuch as it made me realize that I really do have a mental list of things I am not good at and thus avoid systematically so I won't look like more of a fool than I usually do. I think I should get rid of that list because it is limiting to me, and I don't really want my life to be that way.

Later on Manuel and I were talking a little about our missions and he mentioned that--from his perspective--his American companions seemed to have so much gospel knowledge than he did; but he said, "Nosotros los Mexicanos, ensenamos mas del corazon." (The Mexican missionaries taught more from the heart.)

I feel that I have been "taught from the heart" very profoundly and firmly since I have been here, it's a dizzyingly humbling experience...a sincerity that is so sweet and direct that it makes me ashamed of all the times I have been complicated and cynical. There really are not as many shadows about me as I have sometimes thought, and I have been lacking in faith, painting my life with my own colors instead of just trusting the Lord. I feel so loved by my Savior. I feel that He was smiling at me so kindly while I was breaking myself against all my dark thoughts, compelling me to just look Up and remember Him and how good He has been to me. There is a bright, bright light in this dismal world and it is worth hanging on to, sweet to follow. I just want to be Home with all the people I love.